This first edition of the new God of Desire E-Journal contains:
1) A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO ME AND TO GOD OF DESIRE
2) INTRODUCTION TO THE ALL NEW www.GodofDesire.com WEBSITE.
3) "GOD OF DESIRE" SEMINARS CATCH ON AROUND THE COUNTRY, AND ON THE HIGH SEAS.
4) THE UPCOMING "FIRST-EVER NATIONAL CATHOLIC SINGLES CONFERENCE IN DENVER ." THIS IS THE START OF A REVOLUTION, AND GOD OF DESIRE WILL BE THERE.
5) "SINGLE AND DESPERATELY SEEKING CHRISTMAS SPIRIT." A HOLIDAY ESSAY.
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1) A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO ME AND TO GOD OF DESIRE.
There is a LOT more info on the website, but I want to say hello right here in this first E-Journal. I'm a fellow who has done it all wrong when it comes to relationships. And I've been blessed with the great grace of seeing my worst shortcomings transformed into a source of good both for myself and for others. I've experienced a lot of redemption, and I feel that I have GREAT GOOD NEWS to share. So that is the order of the day here: encouragement, redemption, and good news.
I don't consider myself an expert on anything, but many people have found these ideas helpful and even life-changing anyway, in spite of me. I hope you enjoy the E-Journal, and the website, and I beg your for prayers for myself and for this ministry.
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The all new, all improved website is a treasure trove of compelling and entertaining resources for everything related to the single life, to dating and courtship, and to the topic of purity. I'm not aware of any other resource anywhere that brings together so many resources on these topics.
The site, and my seminars as well, are carefully structured to have the broadest possible appeal. I'm Catholic, so there is a separate section of the site devoted to Catholic resources. But the main body of the site is thoroughly non-denominational. My goal is to build bridges rather than walls, and that certainly seems to be happening. I hope you like the site, that you'll refer your friends to it, and that you'll let me know what would make it better.
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3) GOD OF DESIRE SEMINARS CATCH ON AROUND THE COUNTRY, AND ON THE HIGH SEAS.
SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2004:
--I've been keynote speaker at two national conferences on The Theology of the Body, one in Chicago and one in Gettysburg .
--I've spoken in non-denominational settings sponsored by Baptist, Methodist, Church of Christ , Catholic, and InterVarsity ministry groups.
--I've spoken in New York City at Theology on Tap and at St. Patrick's Cathedral.
--I gave my seminar on cruises to Nova Scotia and to Ensenada , Mexico with www.CatholicSingles.com.
--A group in San Diego used my seminar as a launch pad for a six week speaker series with each talk focused on two of the twelve God of Desire dating and courtship principles.
--The full-blown shindig Valentine's seminar/dance in Birmingham was BIG FUN.
UPCOMING EVENTS IN 2005 INCLUDE:
2/18-19 Denver, Co. First-Ever National Catholic Singles Conference .
4/9 New Orleans , La. Abbey Youth Festival , with 4,000 teens
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4) THE UPCOMING "FIRST-EVER NATIONAL CATHOLIC SINGLES CONFERENCE IN DENVER ." THIS IS THE START OF A REVOLUTION, AND GOD OF DESIRE WILL BE THERE.
February 18-19, 2005 (Friday night and Saturday of President's Day Weekend)
The single life as lived in Western society is a radical new phenomenon, unseen before in the annals of history. The Church has not yet come to grips with this surging demographic, soon to comprise a majority of American households. The coming revolution in singles ministry is the hope for the future of the church, as singles are the only source for marriages or other vocations. Come be in the vanguard of this compelling new vision for the Church in the new millennium.
I'll be speaking, along with Mary Beth Bonacci, Phil Mango, Katrina Zeno, Anastasia Northop and Kevin Wright.
Learn much more here:
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5) "SINGLE AND DESPERATELY SEEKING CHRISTMAS SPIRIT." A HOLIDAY ESSAY.
By Dave Sloan
I suppose there are some things that are more easily done alone, though I'm having trouble thinking of any. Hum, maybe parachuting. But you still need someone to fly the plane. Maybe crawling down a manhole cover into a sewer, that's easier one at a time--but why would anyone want to do that? Riding a pogo stick. Yep, I think that's it. And that's all about I can come up with.
Most things are harder alone. Certainly that would include trying to get through the holiday season. Who wants to face Christmas alone--much less New Year's Eve and Auld Lang Syne and not having anyone to kiss at midnight ?
But, for many of us single people, that's pretty much what we have to look forward to. We try to be rugged individualists and self-reliant single Americans and then we start hearing those Christmas carols, and our one bedroom condos and restaurant tables for one and our little two-door sports cars with empty shotgun seats all start to seem a little too lonely to bear.
There are 2.5 times more people living alone in America than there were in 1970. The norm today is to move away for college and then not to move back home, but just to keep moving in furtherance of ones career. With the brokenness of today's families, many singles wouldn't have much of a home to move back to anyway.
On top of that, most of our dating relationships don't last all that long. We're more likely to be getting into or getting out of or getting over a relationship than we are to be actually in one that's healthy and happy and gives us someone with whom to share a heartwarming Christmas.
So what's a Christian single to do come Christmas time in the absence of family or even a main squeeze?
We could try to participate in our own little isolated way--buy one of those little twenty-inch pre-decorated Christmas trees for the condo, then go and try to get into the spirit with the crowds and the carols at the mall. Or we could avoid the whole thing and pretend it isn't happening--steer clear of any mistletoe with it's cruel implications, tune out the seasonal tunes, and concentrate on planning a vacation someplace warm.
The last time I tried that I wound up twisted up in knots on Christmas eve. I couldn't bear the solitude, and so in desperation I found a Church service to attend. But I felt even worse when that was over and the families were all leaving to go home and hunker down to wait for Santa. I couldn't bear going home alone so I went to another service at a different church.
The Missionaries of Charity were there and it always makes me feel better to see those holy little women in their white and blue saris. I happened to have a bunch of books by Mother Teresa in my coat pocket that I had been planning to give for presents but had been too depressed to get around to wrapping and delivering. I thought about getting the Missionaries to sign those books for me. Then I decided that was crazy and I was getting delirious and it was late and I better go home.
So I did. And then, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I spent most of the night downloading and listening to Barry Manilow songs from the internet--"Weekend in New England, Mandy, Looks Like We Made It, Copacabana" and all the rest. That's what Christmas alone did to me.
There has to be a better way.
I believe there is. The better way is not to pretend that God ever intended us to be okay on our own. The triune God IS a family, and so is his Church. God's plan for all of us is a family plan. The challenge for single people is to reject the whole notion of self-reliance, and set about finding ways to become part of God's family by becoming part of the family life of the Church.
Nothing works better than trying to find ways to serve, even in small ways to make some kind of contribution to the community to which we are called to belong. It's easy to find things to complain about in the church. But to show up early and set up, and stick around late and clean up, is the way to start to get hooked up with the family God made us for.
It's also important for the church everywhere to start reaching out more to singles. All too often church life seems to omit, almost even to exclude, singles. That's not the church's fault. The single life as lived in our culture is a radical new phenomenon, unseen before in the annals of human history. There are 2.5 times more people living alone in America now than there were in 1970.
It's understandable that the church moves slowly, but the time has come for the church to recognize that this enormous new demographic of single people is floating around, largely disconnected and displaced, and in desperate need of being included.
Especially in the holiday season it becomes crucial to find ways for single people to share the things that families share. It becomes even more important to forge opportunities for singles to share meals together. Events with singles, whether they are social or educational or spiritual, should include Christmas decorations and Christmas activities. Singles should get together and watch hokey, corny, old-fashioned Christmas movies together like they would if they were home with family.
It's also important to integrate prayer into our activities together. There must not be a dichotomy between events which are spiritual and events which aren't. Just as family life should include prayer in a very natural way, so our events together should include some shared prayer sprinkled throughout. Short, low-key prayers spread over the course of an evening can be the glue which transforms a group of people struggling with loneliness into a family sharing the joy which is the real spirit of Christmas.
There are many simple and effective ways to do this. During this season of Advent nothing is more powerful than to share some of the readings from scripture which prophesy the coming of Jesus.
It can fit in perfectly with any sort of gathering to have someone do a reading from Isaiah 40 near the beginning of the evening. And, then later in the evening someone can read from Luke the extraordinary proclamation of the angel to the three shepherds:
"Be not afraid. For behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you. You will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there appeared with the angel a great multitude of the heavenly hosts praising God and proclaiming, ?glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth.'"
Another great tool for building up family life among singles is to share night prayer together. Based on the Psalms, and taken from the Liturgy of the Hours, night prayer includes a short hymn, for which we could substitute a Christmas carol, and can be prayed in under ten minutes. The Liturgy of the hours is designed to be prayed back and forth between two groups. One neat way to do this is to alternate between the men and the women. This prayer, as much as anything else I've experienced has the power to forge familial bonds between those who share it. You can find a simple, one page version of night prayer at www.GodofDesire.com.
Another simple but profound thing for singles to do this season is to make plans to attend Mass together. During the holidays many of us have more opportunity to attend daily Masses, and we can use our email lists and other means to let people know that there are certain Masses at which we'll be meeting. Communion is the ultimate Sacrament for building family. Singles should share this Sacrament as often as possible for the intention of sharing fully in the family life of the Church. Afterwards, the group can go out to share a meal, or Christmas shopping, or to visit a nursing home, or pray a walking rosary, or go to someone's house or condo and have a tree decorating party, or watch football games or bake cookies or any of the things that families do together at Christmas.
The essential thing is that we do what Mary did and say yes to God's invitation to be part of his family. When we receive Jesus into our lives, into our bodies, we need to follow Mary's example in living as part of God's family as well.
I'll close by suggesting that we seek Saint Joseph's intercession in helping us to learn what it means to live as family, even when the situation we find ourselves in is not what is normally though of as family life.
Saint Joseph was faithfully devoted to Jesus and Mary. He made an awkward choice and gave himself over to God's call to communion with Jesus and his Blessed Mother. In doing so, Joseph found himself at the head the Holy Family.
If we will but ask and trust, then all of the Saints, with Saint Joseph and his immaculate bride and her divine son, together with the Holy Spirit and our Heavenly Father, will lead us to the fulfillment of this Christmas/Advent season. We who place our trust in this infant who is born to us will be adopted into his family to live forever as children of God. This the real reason for the season, and it beats spending Christmas Eve alone downloading Barry Manilow songs.
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Peace and blessings until next time,
Dave
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