BE SET FREE BY THE POWER OF PURITY

(Love is a gift that only the free can give)

We must overcome this tendency to use, and any habits of using into which we may have fallen, before we can faithfully pursue the love that gives.  This is the true essence and purpose of sexual purity--its sets us free from the bonds of habitual using, so that we can make an honest gift of ourselves to another.

We must not despair that God can and will redeem our sexuality, whatever our past experiences, whatever our brokenness.  The Lord will give us the freedom to love.

The steps to this healing are pretty simple.  They aren't easy, and they usually take time, but they are ready at hand and they do work.

First, we confess our sin to God, and to another Christian.  A priest or a minister is a good choice for such, necessarily discrete, confession.  It also very helpful to find the right mentor with whom to work closely and regularly talk through the issues involved in transformation.

Conversion of heart involves both time shared with our brothers and sisters in Christ and time alone with God.  The most important thing to know about prayer is to pray NOW.  We faced with any temptation we must resist the temptation to postpone prayer until later, when we have the time or opportunity to say some particular prayer.  The upshot is to pray as often as possible, and, most importantly, to cut the time between temptation and prayer as close as possible to zero.  Pray now, before the temptation train has a chance to get up a full head of steam.

The very same principle applies to confession.  James' epistle tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed.  And Paul tells us to bear one another's burdens.  There is great power in confessing our sin to God immediately, and to another person as soon as possible after we slip, so that we can experience His loving embrace and go back to living in the knowledge that we are His children. 

It's also important that we spend some time each day just being with God.  Silence doesn't come easily to most of us in this culture.  But we can't forge a deep relationship with God if we don't give him the chance to reveal himself to us apart from all distractions.  Perhaps the best piece of advice here is to keep what little silence we can, rather than getting despondent over not being able to stay quiet for longer. 

Any place can be good for prayer, but we should note that Jesus went out of his way to find places to pray that afforded him some peace and quiet.  We ought to do the same thing whenever we can. 

When checking ourselves out to see if we're ready to have a relationship with another person, we must check and see if we're really striving to develop a deep relationship with the only one who can truly fulfill the desires of our hearts. 

The Lord has promised that he will sprinkle clean water upon us, and make us clean.  He has promised that he will take from us our stony hearts, and give us hearts that can love.  The Lord has promised, and he will do it.  He has done it for others.  He will do it for us.  We were made for love.  We can learn to love.  In spite of all that we have done, or have had done to us, we can learn what it means to give and to receive the things of God. 

The journey to purity is difficult, and ongoing.  The rest of the principles in this article are further guides along that journey.  More resources are available at www.godofdesire.com.  See especially the article there about escaping the bonds of habitual sin.  Though it focuses on escaping pornography, the principles outlined in that article will help achieve purity in all areas of our lives, and truly set us free to love.

The most important thing to remember is that purity is attainable for us all.  And it is glorious.  The pure of heart know the joy of gazing upon the face of God, most often revealed as we gaze upon the faces of one another.  So let's get on to gazing; let's get on to dating.